Surrender: Leaning into Transitions
Camille Lester, MHC
Happy Summer! Now that NYC is fully reopened, I can imagine the ways that your social calendar may feel strangely unfamiliar yet nostalgically familiar with gatherings, dinners, working from the office, dates, and moments of the community; I wonder how you are truly doing? It goes without saying, we are all engaged in a delicate state of rapid transition. Transition is a reoccurring topic I have found myself centering with clients as we all collectively peel back the doors of “hiding,” social distance, and reintegration into the world after over 18 months.
How are you feeling about the city reopening? Are you nervous? Are you excited? Are you dreading life going back to a semblance of what it once was? Are you a combination of all of the above? Let’s talk, transition and life reintegrated!
Transitions come in various shapes, sizes, duration, and intensity. They always mark the closing and mourning of one aspect of our life and the budding growth of something new. However, transitions don’t come without the radical acceptance of the unknown. Oftentimes, we have little control over the unknown and inadequate time to perfectly prepare; which can make it so frustrating! The other day in session, a client resurfaced a quote by Toni Morrison that I fell in love with many years ago. The quote states: “If you surrender to the wind, you can ride it.” There is something so deeply magical about the concept of surrender especially when we find ourselves in the middle of a storm of anxiety, joy, fear, hope, dread, growth… transition.
If you are finding yourself dealing with a whirlwind of emotions and sensations as you embark on your new normal, here are a few tips!
Intentional Reflection: Transitions are a natural part of the human process. Take some time to reflect on how you have encountered them in other moments of your life. Perhaps you may notice patterns, fears, or triumphs that come up. Sit within those memories, as often they can be the fuel needed to propel you through this present moment of change. If you are open to it, take some time to draw what comes to mind when you think of “transition”? What areas of your body feel activated when you are faced with the unknown? Draw what tools you feel you may need as you journey through.
Grounding: In the “Soul Nerve” chapter of My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem his Breathe, Ground, and Resource exercise (pg. 146) has been extremely helpful personally and clinically:
Take a few deep breaths. Let your body relax a much as it wants to.
Think of a person, an animal, or a place that makes you feel safe and secure. Then imagine that, right now, this person or animal is beside you, or that you are in a safe place.
Breathing naturally, simply let yourself experience that safety and security for one to two minutes
Afterward, notice how and what you experience in your body. Slowly look around, including directly behind you, and locate yourself in the here and now (you can do this standing, sitting, or lying down, with your eyes either open or closed).
Wishing you peace as you journey and transition into and alongside your new normal, ride the subways, grab a coffee with a friend, physically embrace family members, re-enter your workspace, and sit at your desk after 18 months of sterile separation. Honor all parts of yourself, the parts that may be in mourning and the parts that are so full of excitement. Be patient, kind, gentle, and loving to yourself; a new chapter of self is beginning.
With light,
C