What is Your Inner Voice Saying
Jenn Freed, LCSW
You know that voice we hear all day every day? From mundane daily tasks to sorting conflict, pressuring ourselves to do something productive or “good” for us. The inner dialogue, or your thoughts and the voices they take on can be an area of neglected self-care. We often think of self-care as external activities we are practicing to decompress and recharge. Our inner voices and thoughts play throughout our day, sometimes getting stuck on a loop or leading the way into a spiral and rabbit hole that feels out of control. When we practice self-care it is essential to take stock of how we talk to ourselves, the language we use, and how this can affect us in insidious ways.
When we become aware of our inner dialogue, we can pose some important questions. Often our thoughts are heavily influenced by societal, familial, and cultural conditioning and comparisons to others. Take a moment to observe the voices you hear throughout the day. Are they kind? Judgmental? Disapproving? Do your thoughts sound like anyone in your life who has an impact on you? Is it possible to identify what is truly your voice versus one of these other forces?
After becoming aware and observant of what the voices sound like and who they may belong to, you can set an intention to purposefully offer a counterthought. One that is neutral and accepting. Neutrality is important because changing a judgmental thought to a positive one is often unrealistic. Neutrality lowers the temperature while not feeling like fake positivity. Acceptance helps us to sit with discomfort instead of pushing it away, avoiding it, or reinforcing it through our inner voice. We don’t have to be okay with how we are feeling or what we are experiencing, but if we can accept that it is our current reality, we may resist it less.
Example of neutrality and acceptance:
Automatic thought: “I can’t believe I did this again! I am so stupid.”
Counter thought: “I made a mistake; I will try again.”
Our inner voice directly affects the narrative we create about what’s true in the situation. Your felt truth can often differ from the objective truth of what you’re experiencing. Take a step back and consider what happened objectively. Our thoughts can tell us stories based on our past experiences and adaptations. Understanding these narratives and stories is also important but paying attention to our inner voice is a practice we can do every day.