Sleeping Well-ness

Ilana Friedman, Advanced Clinical Fellow

I’ve heard the same comments over and over recently. “I’m exhausted, but I can’t fall asleep…”, “I haven’t slept well in years. I wake up multiple times every night!”, “I’m too busy to sleep!” I believe that sleep is one of the most underrated wellness factors in our lives, yet we have been trained to wear our sleep deprivation like a badge of honor. Staying up until the wee hours to finish that work project garners praise and waking up before the sun after just a couple hours of rest for that early exercise class means you are really dedicated. We medicate our exhaustion with a coffee the size of our head and just keep going; night after night, day after day. Our busy-ness culture has taught us that this is normal, even required, to maximize our productivity. However, people use sleep deprivation as a method of torture. Let that sink in… We are being taught that a literal method of torture is the way to get ahead.

So, how do we get off of the sleep deprivation/caffeine merry-go-round and drift off to dreamland? First of all, set the scene for sleep. We have heard this before but it bears repeating… comfy mattress, cozy sheets, the right pillow, and an ideal room temperature and lighting (science says cool and dark) are key!

Imagine the ritual of getting a child ready for bed. It becomes sacred and helps to wind their systems down and prepare for sleep. It can do the same for us big kids! Explore and create your own bedtime ritual. For some, that is a warm bath or shower, slathering on calming body butter, drinking a sleep-focused tea, and reading a book. For others, it could be writing out a gratitude list, doing some light exercise or yoga, spritzing their pillow with a lavender sleep spray, and listening to a podcast. Every BODY is different and it’s important to find what works for you!

Now, devices. We all know we are “supposed” to avoid devices before bed, but I haven’t found that to be actionable. To be honest, I like to fall asleep to a TV show and reading actually activates my brain. However, when I had social media, I would find myself tumbling down an Instagram black hole, and then suddenly it would be 2:00 am. Instead of avoiding devices altogether, maybe try a “social media bedtime” if this is something you are seeing as a stumbling block to sleep. Again, do some gentle exploration and find what works for you!

This is a heated topic but here we go… I found that when I switched from coffee to matcha in the morning, I got tired earlier at night. I know, I know, we love our coffee, but that one change has had a huge impact on my sleep!

Let’s get into troubleshooting some common sleep issues. Can’t get sleepy? Try melatonin (melatonin always gave me nightmares until I tried a low dose, namely This One from HUM #notanad) or CBD. Are you experiencing anxiety and racing thoughts when you try to sleep? Write out your worries and to-do’s so they are out of your head and ready to be tackled tomorrow! That way your brain doesn’t have to work to remember them. Can’t stay asleep? Try a sleep meditation right before bed to set yourself up for the night, limit water intake before sleep, and try a supplement like This One with Valerian Root and Hops (again, not an ad, just something that worked for me!). If you really cannot fall asleep, or wake up and can’t get back to sleep, try not to panic. Simply acknowledge what’s happening (“I’m struggling to fall asleep”), and redirect. Don’t try to stay in bed and muscle your way to sleep, that only causes activation! Do something soothing (hot shower, warm milk, gentle movement), and then get in bed with the intent of just resting your eyes or relaxing. You’ll be surprised how much easier it is to fall asleep when you aren’t forcing it!

This next idea was the biggest shift for me in terms of sleep. I used to feel sleepy around 8:30 pm but I would fight it and try to stay up to “get more done.” The problem with this behavior is that “fight” includes a très cute adrenaline rush to stay awake and that would not wear off until about 2:00 am. So, what did I do? I released the pressure of needing to get more done and stopped fighting sleep. When I first feel tired, I go to bed. Simple as that.

My sleepy friends, I hope some of these ideas will resonate with you and help you craft your ideal sleep schedule! If you try this out and are still struggling, please talk to your doctor, sleeping well is key to overall wellness. Sweet dreams!