How to Get ‘Unstuck’
Jennifer Freed, LCSW
What does it mean to feel stuck? This is a phrase we often use to express feeling unsatisfied with the way things are going in our life. There may be changes we seek or want to work towards, but we lack motivation or direction. This can look like boredom, ambivalence, lack of meaningful connections, burn out or little inspiration to explore our creativity. Ultimately, we are experiencing a disconnection from our values and inner guide. When it comes to getting unstuck, I believe the answers lie within us.
We often lean into the habits that help distract us from the discomforts of sitting with our own thoughts and feelings. Maybe we have internalized certain messages or expectations as the “right” way to go through life. Perhaps you feel life circumstances leave little room for joy and require you to just make it through the day. It is important to also acknowledge outside forces that impact us differently based on our identities. Developing a deeper connection to yourself and building a community can be empowering. Having the awareness that we want something else for ourselves is a great place to start. The stuck feeling can be a reminder that daily acts of intention can be the catalyst for living in alignment.
Where to start…
Self-care and acceptance
Begin with self-compassion and an awareness that we are all wired to survive and do this through predictable routines, patterns in relationships, and situations where we know what the outcome will be. If you’re not sure how to nurture yourself, think about how you’d show up for a family member or friend and give that same care to yourself.
Set Boundaries
Part of showing up for yourself is tending to your own needs and expressing to others what you need from them. Identify these needs by observing your own emotional and bodily reactions in relationships.
Make and keep realistic promises to yourself
This is important for increasing your confidence in making decisions and trusting yourself. It will also strengthen your connection to knowing what the next step looks like in your journey of getting unstuck.
Envision what you want from life
It may be hard to know where you want to put your energy. Fantasize about your ideal life, purpose, and desired relationship with yourself and others. Lean into areas of life that bring you joy, excite you, and feel purposeful or passionate. Reflect on your present-day and what feels like it’s not working.
Take small sustainable steps
It can be daunting to think about how you will achieve the fantasy life you’ve dreamt up. Start with small steps. It will help demystify large-scale goals and keep the momentum going.
It’s important to note that these steps take time and are not always easy. Asking for and receiving support whether it be from a trusted family member, friend, or therapist, can be helpful and at times necessary.