Grief During the Holidays

Kathryn Lee, LMHC

Grief during the holidays can be a difficult and emotional experience. The holidays are often associated with joy, celebration, togetherness, and time spent with loved ones. However, for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one, the holidays can be a painful reminder of their absence. It can feel like a heavy weight that pulls us down. It can be like a fog that surrounds us, a hole in our hearts that never quite heals, a constant reminder of the absence of our loved ones. 

Grief is a natural response to loss. It is the emotional and psychological response to the separation from someone or something that was deeply valued. The grieving process typically involves a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, disbelief, and depression. These emotions can be overwhelming, and they can interfere with a person's ability to function normally. Grief can also have physical effects, such as fatigue, exhaustion, changes in appetite, and difficulty sleeping.

However, despite the pain and difficulty of grieving during the holidays, it is important to remember that it is okay to feel and express these emotions. It is also important to allow oneself to grieve in a way that feels comfortable and meaningful. Grief during the holidays especially is a process of moving through the pain of loss and finding a way to incorporate the memory of the loved one into one's life in a healthy and meaningful way. Remember that you can both honor the person you lost and also create new memories and traditions. 

As a therapist and an individual, I have learned that grief is not necessarily something that you recover from but something that you move through and learn to navigate. Grief comes in waves; some days the waters will be calm, and some days it will be overwhelming. Some days we’re observing the waves, and we can appreciate them, maybe even admire their beauty and power. Although it may vary in intensity and may take on different faces, grief will always be there. 

In the midst of grief, there can be moments of beauty and connection. We can find solace in the warmth of loved ones, in the comfort of familiar traditions, and in the simple pleasures of the season. Grief is simply love’s shadow, and we can find strength in the knowledge that our loved ones are always with us, in spirit if not in body.