Coping with Uncertainty

Birch Cooper, MHC

Keeping an eye out for a new romantic interest to text, anticipating a job offer or waiting for test results from the doctor. Each of these scenarios can tug at a unique set of fears but one common factor in all these situations is uncertainty. People are impacted by uncertainty to different degrees some uncertainty can be healthy and exciting, however, for some, it can have the opposite effect leaving them feeling distracted and stuck.

In modern life, we experience many forms of uncertainty. Depending on what is at stake it can surface from the inability to plan or move forward, fears about unfavorable results or facing the general unpredictability of everyday life. An underlying theme of many situations that lead to uncertainty is control. In fact, much of the discomfort around uncertainty stems from the disruption of our sense of control.

Just as people experience uncertainty to varying degrees successful uncertainty management can vary based on the unique individual and situation. Different strategies may resonate with you so I have included various methods to cope with uncertainty. You may find it ideal to use one or two or a combination of several strategies below:

Accept & Let go: 

As I mentioned much of the discomfort with uncertainty stems from the disruption of our sense of control. Acceptance starts with the ability to recognize that this is something that you do not have control over. In line with this, it can also be helpful to remind yourself that you have done what you can and it is time to focus on letting go of the results. Part of letting go is avoiding constant check-ins, it can be helpful to limit seeking updates or information to specific times of day (e.g. 9am and 4pm). Once set, it is important to honor these set times. Try to avoid placing check-in times near or around bedtime. 

Practice self-care:

Continue to do things in order to take care of yourself. Whether it is maintaining a regular sleep routine, writing a list of things you are grateful for or going on a walk and listening to music that you love; self-care is important to practice on a daily basis. Focusing on day-to-day activities in times of uncertainty helps us to remain in the here and now.  

Take note of your thinking: 

Try to make yourself additionally aware of thoughts that may be contributing to uncertainty-related-anxiety in a non-judgemental way. A simple way to start is by taking mental note when you are having a thought that contributes to your fears around uncertainty. Thinking to oneself, "Here I am having that ...  thought again" can help reduce the time spent thinking about the situation and help avoid worst-case scenario thinking. Again it is important not to beat yourself up for having the thought, just make a note of it and try to let it go. 

Seek support:

Social support that includes friends, family or a therapist can be beneficial on a daily basis but can be particularly helpful in times of uncertainty. When socializing with friends and family this can but doesn't have to include venting about the situation you are uncertain about. With some preferring to simply participate in activities they enjoy. If you are going to share it helps to be mindful of who you choose to discuss the situation with in order to avoid exacerbating stress and uncertainty. Focus on someone who will be accepting, offer assurance or perhaps encourage a shift in your perspective.

Take a deep breath: 

When uncertainty leads to anxiety we tend to take shallow, short breaths. Reminding ourselves to take deep breaths can help us regain a sense of calm and relax. If you want to take it to the next level a helpful breathing exercise is breathing in for four seconds, holding it for four seconds, breathing out for four seconds, then holding the exhale for four seconds.