Rachel Chada MHC-LP

I often hear it from the other side of the therapy room:

"If I just [fix my gut health/get over my girlfriend/journal more/meditate more/regulate my vagus nerve with a 5 am ice bath and primal scream more], I will be better."

It's easy to feel sold on a single solution. The optimistic, hopeful parts of ourselves love the idea that one technique could unveil the potential that all of life's stuff has been blocking. We're exhausted by the realities of the world; it makes sense that we'd want a simple solution.

While I'd love to say there's one secret to contentment (sorry, lovers of The Secret), the reality is that it's usually a combined effort of different support systems, philosophies, and regulation tools. The perfect formulation of what that looks like has to be determined by you. That doesn't mean you have to go it alone, however. Get support from your spiritual leader, your community, your therapist, but understand that they should be looking to you to report what is working, not selling you on the idea that their way is the only way.

Experiment! When you get overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, dive into that toolkit and see what works. Write it down. Try a technique or tool more than once and see if they're more helpful in certain situations. Talk about what's working with your support system. Go into it without the pressure that this one thing has to be the thing.

Here’s what some of my clients are incorporating into their routines: 

• Journaling without the pressure of a daily commitment

• Body scans or body-minded meditations before bed

• Bibliotherapy (and being okay with setting down a book if it gets to be too much)

• Moving their body in whatever way feels good

• Trying to sit in the discomfort a little more often

• Writing out the parts of themself that show up when they’re upset or overwhelmed

While that's far from a comprehensive list, I hope it gives you some reassurance that there isn’t one set path for healing. It’s the cumulative effect of the work that makes it impactful. If you’re looking for a non-judgmental collaborator to join you along the way, I’d love to support you.

Rachel Chada, MHC-LP is an affirming psychotherapist for individuals and couples. You can book a free, 15-minute consultation with her here.