Advanced Clinical Fellow Kat Williams

Do you struggle with tossing and turning at bedtime because of a noisy mind that won't settle?

You're not alone. Many of my clients who struggle with high-functioning anxiety are kept up at night by their racing thoughts. When the external world quiets, our internal chatter amplifies. We replay every interaction, dissect every comment, and ruminate on unanswered texts.

Why? If you typically hustle all day, believing rest is unproductive, your brain seizes this quiet time to process. So finally when our brains get their chance to process during the only "downtime" it becomes impossible to shut them off. While we might not want to believe it, our brains need dedicated quiet space to unwind daily.

If your main downtime is spent listening to a podcast or watching a show, I suggest gently checking in with yourself. How do you move throughout the day? Do you identify with the hustle culture of Manhattan: waking up with coffee before water, listening to music while getting ready, back-to-back calls throughout the day, rushing to your dinner plans right after, and then straight to bed? If this mirrors anything close to your day-to-day, my first recommendation is to carve 15 minutes of daily reflection to let your mind process without distractions. To do this, set a timer and use this space for healthy daily processing. Then, once the timer goes off, give yourself permission to leave those thoughts on that page and return to the present. If the thoughts become challenging to let go, it may be helpful to take out your journal and write the thoughts on a piece of paper. By getting them onto a page, it is almost like an active release.

Next, establish a calming bedtime routine that supports your nervous system. Often when we are having difficulty turning off our minds, we are experiencing amygdala activation.  To return to a state of “rest and digest” or the parasympathetic state try the following:

• Disconnect: Avoid screens (social media, news, TV) for at least an hour before bed. These activate and stress the brain. If you wake up, resist checking your phone! This triggers the amygdala–the emotional part of your brain.

• Calm your body with breathwork: Practicing deep belly breathing or progressive muscle relaxation before bed supports re-regulating our sympathetic nervous system.

• Set a sleep schedule: Go to bed and wake up at consistent times, even on weekends.

• Limit caffeine: Ditch the afternoon latte for herbal tea after 3 pm. Trust me, fellow coffee lovers, it's worth it!

• Embrace natural vitamin D: Try to get outside first thing in the morning, even if it's cloudy. This sets your internal clock for better sleep.

• Tame racing thoughts: If anxieties arise, acknowledge them, create distance from them, and then switch focus. You can acknowledge and create distance from them by saying “I am having an anxious thought that,” this signals to your brain that you are creating some distance from this anxiety.  Once you begin to unhook from this thought, try counting backward by 3 from 50. This turns on your prefrontal cortex and calms the emotional brain.

• Try meditation apps:  I love Insight Timer or Calm before bed. Even when you shut off the lights you can turn on a sleep meditation to turn your focus to that inside of your internal anxiety.

Remember, just like prepping a child for bed,  when we create a soothing ritual for ourselves we are grounding ourselves before sleep allowing us to enter a state of ease. By prioritizing quiet reflection, calming your nervous system, and setting a healthy sleep schedule, you can quiet the noise and allow your body to do what it naturally knows how to do: drift off peacefully into sleep.

References:
LePera, N. (2023). How to be the love you seek: Break Cycles, Find Peace, and Heal Your Relationships. Harper Wave.