Ilana Pilcz, MHC, MA

The end of the year is a strange time. Conceptually, we think of this time as filled with holidays, spending quality time with loved ones, and celebrating the shift to a new year. However, the end of the year often feels more like a breathless sprint to the finish line. A massive race that starts around Thanksgiving, crescendos with endless holiday parties and getting those last loose ends tied up at work before the office closes, and ends with the ball dropping on New Year’s Eve. Now, big races can be really fun but they can also be exhausting. As one of my clients and I discussed this final sprint-energy in session last week, they shared something they had seen online, “How can you end the year soft?” This one simple question shifted my mindset about ending this year and so, dear reader, I ask you, “How can you end your year soft?” Instead of focusing on getting everything checked off of your to-do list before the clock strikes midnight, can you focus on resting? Instead of thinking about what you need to get done, improve, and change in 2024, can you offer yourself some softness and presence as we shift into a new year, a new beginning?

In past years, my (recovering) perfectionism and I have held tightly onto doing an involved year-end journal review, goal-setting for the upcoming year including yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily goals, and picking resolutions (so many that I would inevitably burn out by Valentine’s Day). I have noticed how this approach just adds more tasks to my to-do list and frankly, sucks most of the joy out of the experience. (PSA: This is not to say that a year-end review, goal-setting, and resolutions are in any way negative, and if that is your jam this year, play on baby! Check out Intelligent Change for some amazing year-end journal prompts! I digress...) So this year, I am trying a new, soft way of approaching this season...

A Soft Ritual for 2024
This can be done solo as a journaling or self-reflective practice or with loved ones at an NYE party. Remember, the goal is NOT perfection!

1. What were the high points of your year? What were the biggest challenges?

2. What was this year’s lesson?

3. Pick an intention or theme for the upcoming year. This could be “presence,” “slow down,” “boundaries,” etc. I find this to be a gentler (aka softer) version of goal-setting or resolutions. Additionally, it allows us to develop our personal set of values, which gives us a beautiful tool for decision-making. For example, if my theme is “slow down” and a friend asks if I can squeeze in a boot camp during my lunch hour on a busy day, I can ask myself, “Is this in alignment with my theme of slowing down?” and lovingly decline.

I would love to hear what your intention or theme is for 2024; please let me know in the comments below! Mine is “sweetness.” Happy New Year!