Advanced Clinical Fellow Katarina Williams

Our daily lives are filled with many stressors that come from work, adulting, climate change, interpersonal dynamics, finances and so much more. These stressors can lead us to take on too much, causing emotional depletion. I am here to debunk some myths about burnout and share some strategies for changing how you show up before you get to a place of total depletion. 

So what exactly is burnout?
Burnout goes beyond just stress and exhaustion. Burnout is a state of emotional, mental and physical exhaustion caused by excessive stress or living in prolonged states of nervous system activation. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed and are unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest or motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place. 

Burnout can also creep into our lives as a result of lifestyle stressors. Maybe you are noticing patterns in your life such as working late and canceling on your date night with your partner or skipping out on your self-care because you are so focused on helping your best friend navigate her latest situationship. Or maybe you are a recovering perfectionist who says yes when you really mean no to plans. Caregiving is also a huge life stressor. Parenting or caring for aging or dependent adults in your home is incredibly depleting and can build deep-seated resentment. All of this stress can add up to chronic, emotional exhaustion.

Burnout is essentially what happens when we tell ourselves we aren’t human. We deny ourselves the human experience and forgo our needs, “to get it all done.” The challenge with this is our bodies and minds were designed to need rest and rejuvenation.

Burnout manifests in various sneaky ways, so it's vital to be mindful of these signs. 

1. You find yourself procrastinating and avoiding work.

2. You have difficulty sticking to your self-care routine, or find that it’s no longer “helpful”.

3. You have trouble concentrating at work. 

4. You isolate yourself from your partner or kids after a long day and find most connections draining. 

5. You feel emotionally disconnected from people close to you and at work.

6. You fight the feeling of being overwhelmed constantly. 

7. You get the Sunday Scaries that ruin your Sunday.

8. You feel so exhausted even though your exercise usually recharges you.

9. You feel so depleted and have chronic pain or tension headaches.

10. You have difficulty sleeping even when you are physically tired.

Recognizing the signs of burnout is a crucial first step in stopping the cycle of completion, coping, and regaining your power. 

Reassess Your Current Workload- Something needs to Change
Saying no and changing your workload is a difficult feat! It often involves sitting down with your manager or asking for a call with your boss. It requires us to have that hard conversation and ask if you can shift some of your workload to others. Hello overachievers! Asking for this may feel defeating–like you are letting yourself down. In these moments of discomfort, remind yourself that asking for a more balanced workload will allow you to gain back more moments of peace in your day-to-day. You’re not asking for a light workload; you’ve been doing way too much and are asking for a sustainable workload.

Schedule in Time to Rest & Self-Care
Find a self-care activity that you actually enjoy and nourishes your soul. Self-care looks different for everyone – this could be scheduling a daily mental health walk outdoors, trying acupuncture, or curling up with your favorite book for twenty minutes. You could also engage in a mindfulness activity, such as journaling, breathwork, or a daily gratitude practice.

Rest is also rejuvenating when we begin to feel depleted in our lives. For each stressful or tiring activity, balance it with a scheduled moment of rest or reflection. 

Set Healthy Boundaries
In order to move from a depleted state of burnout we need to learn how to set and implement boundaries. 

A good place to start is to reflect on the areas of your life that are causing the most burnout and identify where your natural boundaries have already been broken. Let’s go with the example of being burnt out at work. You might write things down like, “My boss frequently emails me at 10 pm….oh…and then I respond to them.” There are two pieces here. One is talking with your boss about after-hours expectations, which can be a totally intimidating conversation. The other piece is recognizing that if you’re consistently answering those late-night emails, you’re breaking your own boundaries. As you continue to think through what bothers you or is causing more stress, write down ways that you can change the pattern. Here, it's necessary that we give ourselves the gift of accountability.