Sam Silor, MHC

Let’s hop into a time machine. It’s New Year’s Eve, 2022, your eyes are glued to the screen as the ball is about to drop. Maybe you feel the excitement, maybe you feel dread, but a new year is right around the corner. Imagine what might be possible for yourself in 2023. Maybe 2023 is the year you write your screenplay or maybe 2023 is the year you finally go to Barcelona. 

5, 4, 3, 2, 1! The time machine brings you back to the present. We’re back in 2023. How is it going? 

Please don’t be hard on yourself if you feel like you’re off track. That is not the goal of this post. The goal is to let you know that where you’re at is perfect. It’s beautiful to have goals, dreams, aspirations, and new visions for yourself. It’s also okay if where you’re at is not perfect. The journey from where you start to where you may be is the juicy part.

Getting from “point A to B” is challenging. After all, “Point A” is the place we know and are comfortable with. Point B is uncharted territory. It may require new skills or ideas you may not have yet.

Adversity arises in many situations. The word “resolution” means to have the resolve or an absolute dedicated commitment to what you want to accomplish. Yikes! Sounds intense! What we need here is some flexibility in your intentions to jumpstart your dreams.

Let’s apply some compassion for ourselves to get back on track. Here’s some advice from a recovering perfectionist that I hope helps you approach things a little more gently.

1. Visualize Your Goals:

   Taking time to reflect and visualize yourself accomplishing your goals is important. A project manager knows that planning and mapping your goals is crucial to getting to the finish line. Yet, taking time and sitting down to create your roadmap is the last thing we prioritize. 

   Let’s say you want to perform at the next open mic in your neighborhood. Imagine yourself surrounded by chatting patrons in a coffee shop. You have a guitar in your hands, you’re about to perform an original song. You take a deep breath and start strumming your guitar. At the end of the open mic, you have a smile on your face because you’re met with applause from the coffee shop. Build your roadmap from this space.

   This is the fun part of new endeavors. The possibilities you can imagine are endless. This is part of the journey where you can dream without judgment. These are your dreams. Keep them safe, guarded, and close to your heart. The space you imagine for yourself is what will keep you going. 

2. Curate for Inspiration:

   We need to set ourselves up for success. Having a constant source of inspiration can lift you up in moments you want to give up.  This may look like taking the time to make a vision board or reorganizing your social media to follow accounts that inspire you. If you’ve visualized yourself as a successful business owner, then what business owners inspire you in real and digital life? Follow everything you know about business, but also challenge yourself to be outside of the box. 

   There are many ways to pull inspiration for art, technology, design, and cooking. Diversifying your inspiration can lead to new ways to approach your own endeavors. Surrounding yourself with new ideas and conversations will help you find inspiration when you are challenged or stuck. Treat yourself! Public libraries, sports events, museums, walking on waterfronts, a dinner party, etc., you never know where inspiration will come from!

3. Be Your Own Best Friend:
   There’s nothing worse than scrolling through your phone contacts when you need someone to talk to. Sometimes we don’t have the resources to get to where we need to be. Self-soothing is a place I go to when I’m overwhelmed and when no one is available to cheer me on. It happens! We all live busy lives, so self-soothing doesn’t mean that no one is there for you. Self-soothing is a tool to take a step back, reflect, and re-visualize. It’s a tool you will always have for yourself. Self-soothing builds resilience. 

   Sometimes it really is about asking yourself “what would you tell your best friend? You’ll find that you’re way more supportive of others than you are of yourself. Take a difficult situation and ask yourself what you would tell someone you love. You’ll find that self-validation, nurturing, support, and love in yourself is available to you at all times.

   Lean into what brings you joy and promotes your flavor of self-care. Self-care and prioritization go hand in hand. When my self-care is out of alignment, I’ve learned that meditating, cuddling with my cat, playing Mario Party with my spouse, or listening to one of my many playlists are ways I re-commit to myself. It’s okay to take a step back, put your hands on your chest, and say everything is going to be OK! 

Stay tuned for more tips towards taking a compassionate approach to goal setting in Part 2.