Valeria Aliendres, MHC-LP

It is well-documented that humans tend to feel more comfortable with those who they perceive to be similar to themselves; both physically and with those that share similar experiences. For many individuals who are seeking a new therapist, there may be various identity considerations and “filters” to sort through to find the right fit. Perhaps gender, specific specializations, or age might be important when choosing the right therapist for you. Although there are many factors that contribute to a strong therapeutic relationship between a client and their therapist, one that many BIPOC prioritize is sharing the same race, ethnicity, and/or culture with their therapist. 

For many BIPOC, feeling culturally understood is crucial to building trust and rapport. In my experience, many of my Latinx clients have shared the importance of working with someone who “just gets it”. When we talk about “it”, we are speaking of familial values, typical cultural dynamics, systems of oppression, collectivist perspectives, and even down to concepts better explained and understood in their native language. Below are just some of the ways in which I have noticed Latinx individuals benefiting from cultural matching with their therapist: 

Acknowledgment and affirmation of collectivist values - At the center of Latinx culture is its collectivist approach to life and relationships with others. This is often seen in the way we value “familismo” - which prioritizes the wellbeing and closeness of the family/group. While many young members of our culture (especially those born in the U.S) are embracing more individualistic values, it is nonetheless important to work with a therapist that understands living within collectivist families. 

Boundaries and family dynamics look different in Latinx families - many of the Latinx clients I have worked with are trying to find a balance between honoring both their family’s values and their individual needs. This can be difficult to do in settings where prioritizing your well-being can be seen as selfish and as a disregard for the well-being of the group. It may feel important to not have to explain or educate our therapist on why some individualistic ideas about personal boundaries do not always align with what feels comfortable for us.

Shared experiences - Growing up in multigenerational homes, feeling responsible for the wellbeing of the family members who are “back home”, fighting back the cultural machismo, or having to answer the “y el novio?” questions from your tias… The level of connection I feel with my clients over these experiences when we exchange a look of “I know you get it” is powerful. It communicates trust and understanding. This is especially meaningful for members of underrepresented communities. 

Therapy in your native language - while not all members of the Latinx community speak Spanish, those that do may find comfort in knowing they can express themselves in their native language when preferred. This might look like holding sessions exclusively in Spanish or code switching between languages. Sometimes you may find it easier, or even more impactful, to recount childhood memories in the language in which the memory occurred. 

While cultural matching with your therapist can be a powerful way of building trust and understanding, it is definitely not required in order to do meaningful and powerful work. Unfortunately, due to underrepresentation in the field, it is not always easy to find a therapist that fits all of the demographic information you might be looking for. And of course, sharing identities is not always a guarantee of a good fit between a client and therapist on that basis alone. In fact, it’s totally normal as well if you don’t feel the need to share the same race, ethnicity, or culture with your therapist. A combination of cultural awareness, empathy, curiosity, and respect for cultural differences often proves to be highly effective in therapeutic work, even when there are identity differences. 

However, it is also completely normal to want your therapist to look like you, to speak like you, and to have a similar worldview. While therapy is a great space to be challenged by new ideas and perspectives, it is also a great space to find comfort and a sense of feeling seen. If you’ve felt underrepresented in various ways in your life, know that your therapy does not have to be another one of those experiences.

Con cariño, 
Valeria