Jenn Freed, LCSW

Many of us find it difficult to identify our needs and prioritize our own well-being before showing up for others. How do we understand what will help us feel better, participate more fully in our daily lives, or simply know when we need to ask for or give ourselves more support?

It starts with acceptance. Inner voices can often encourage shame, guilt, blame, and doubt. These feelings are not to be villainized but instead observed. Can you let them exist while also recognizing that there’s a deeper reason you may feel this way and it’s okay to let them be, while just acknowledging they are there? Naming whatever you feel and easing the emotion versus trying to resist and avoid uncomfortable feelings will help towards creating more acceptance for all that you feel.

Self-compassion: It’s hard to look at ourselves and practice compassion in the same way we might be able to offer a friend or family member grace. Can you practice shifting the inner voice to a more neutral one? Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes or not feel great all the time. Think about the context of your daily life and what might be contributing to the current environment in your headspace.

Self-care: Give yourself support. Have regular check-ins with yourself and assess what type of support you can give or need to ask for. Do you need to wake up earlier to have a slow morning before starting a busy day? Do you need to ask for help instead of assuming full responsibility for household tasks? Would read instead of scrolling help you settle in before bed? Maybe it feels overwhelming to add more to your to-do list. Where can you add loving acts to your current schedule? Perhaps it’s through self-massage while applying lotion, lighting some candles while you shower, or listening to music as you wake up. Act with intention and show up to care for and support yourself in whatever ways help you feel more at peace.

Practicing self-compassion and self-care is courageous. We often reserve the last bit of our energy or are completely running on empty when it comes to caring for ourselves. How can you prioritize turning more love inward today?