Kathryn Lee, MHC-LP

Studies have shown that high-achieving individuals are prone to both physical and mental health issues. In my own practice, I have found that high-achieving individuals are prone to struggle with issues such as perfectionism, self doubt, imposter syndrome, burn out, feelings of isolation, stress, and micromanagement. High-achieving individuals often have impossibly-high expectations married with a fear of failure producing high levels of stress, anxiety and even depression. 

When an individual is wired to aim for excellence it often comes at the expense of one’s own psychological well being. Once the anxiety and depression starts to seep in, it convinces an individual to “suck it up” and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms. Often I find that high-achieving individuals come to therapy already aware of their patterns of behavior. In fact, because high-achieving individuals have a tendency to intellectualize their behaviors, they have a cognitive awareness of their own past, traumas, habits, and tendencies. These individuals come to therapy seeking sets of skills, such as coping strategies that will quickly “fix” their problems. However, the beauty –and pain– of therapy is that it is a process; learning your own self and the idiosyncrasies of your own mind takes time. 

With my clients, I often remind them that going to therapy is like going to the gym; my job as a therapist is similar to that of a personal trainer. Just as a trainer cannot produce muscle for a client overnight, I cannot fix my client’s mental health issues. What I can do is equip my clients with mental health skills, awareness, and accountability so that they begin to exercise the right “brain muscles” in a healthy manner. 

Another analogy I often share with my clients is that thoughts make up mental real estate in our psyche. Negative thoughts are like weeds; they can grow anywhere whether it be the cracks of the sidewalk or right by that beautiful tree that you may have planted. The best way to get rid of weeds? You have to pluck them out: grab the weed close to the ground and pull it out to get the roots. Do it right the first time and you likely will not have to do it again in the near future.  The same actions can be taken with our thoughts, experiences, and feelings. Without identifying our thoughts and feelings and identifying the root, we may find ourselves in the same situation and predicament over and over again. 

High-achieving individuals who attend and continue in therapy learn and understand the importance of the “mental workout.” They understand that they may need an objective professional opinion to guide their workout and growth. Ultimately, individuals are able to see therapy as a resource that strengthens their mental and emotional batteries allowing them to access greater levels of internal and external awareness of themselves and others, resilience, empathy, compassion and patience. With these skills in hand, these individuals are able to apply their awareness and skills to their own personal lives, relationships and professions, making them more present partners and friends and stronger leaders and communicators.